Mexid Cocktail’s Neighborhood

My dad just came back from another date again. This lady seemed nice. I think he met her through some jewish dating website, at least that's what my twin sister says. I think that's kind of sweet.

My dad can be really cute. I went into the kitchen yesterday and he had his laptop on the counter and he was watching a youtube clip of a lady making hummus. He then proceeded to make hummus, and it was actually really good.

I'm in crisis, not to mention depressed.

I went to a restaurant/cafe/bar called Sanborns and I had the WORST service ever...

So I get in, and this wannabe security guard is following me everywhere I go, like some creppy ass bitch. Me and my brother got a table, and we asked for the menu.

Anyways... we weren't too hungry so we ordered a smoothie. They had 3 flavors to choose: mango, pinneapple and strawberry. My bro ordered some coffee, and I asked for a strawberry smoothie.

Next thing we know, my brother gets this weird looking crushed ice thing and I get a PINNEAPPLE smoothie... So I tell the lady 'oh, excuse me, I asked for STRAWBERRY, not PINNEAPPLE'. I wanted to make sure if she had any strawberries, so I ask her ' do you even have strawberries' and the slut has the nerve to say 'Oh, I don't know, let me check...' ------ WHAT?!!? wasn't she supposed to do that the FIRST time I asked for the fucking frozed juice...

SO... the lady came back [after checking if she had any berries, and leaving the Pinneapple shit in the kitchen], and she said they didn;t have any strawberries.I tell her 'ok, then... give me the pinneapple smoothie'. So she goes back into the kitchen and takes like 15 minutes to give me the thing [stupid bitch MADE it again..., she's so smart she couldn't give me the one she already had prepared]. She came back and gave me the thing, I try it and guess what? It's freaking MANGO... OMFG! how stupid can these bitches be?!?!

So we got up and left.

Another tragedy happened to me 2 days ago.

Until last tuesday I used to have long curly hair [it would cover my boobs], but I needed a cut badly! So I went to this place my aunt recomended and I told the girl I wanted to get a cut, maybe shorter layers [than the ones I had]... So she starts touching my hair, and she says 'alright, I'm gonne cut like 2 inches off' so I was like 'ok, whatever' next thing I know, I eneded up like fucking  Rihanna hair, except mine is curly [and frizzy], that bitch fucked up my entire life, looks, everything... uggghh... I just hope it grows fast!!!

I already cried my eyes out, because I  look like those sponsored third world kids you see on TV. I look freaking old, and plus, I look like I have cancer, [or lice]...

So if you have any hair growth tips, please let me know [this time I'm serious!]

Off with his head

On Judgement Day our attempts to be religious will testify against us.  They'll seek to gobble us up; so we need to defang them in this lifetime. 

A holy book may tell believers to compel unbelievers to believe, and to kill them if they refuse to believe.  Notwithstanding the the fact that you can't really force someone to believe something, believers may obediently drench whole empires in blood trying to fulfill the command.  And you know what God will say to them on Judgement Day?

He'll say, ‘How hard, exactly, did you work to make people believe before resorting to the sword?  How winsome did you make yourself?  Did you intoxicate the whole world with your kindness and generosity?  How much did you contribute to culture and architecture and science and wisdom and world peace and tolerance and community and laughter before you thought, “Enough of that.  These people won’t listen.  Let’s decapitate them”?  Did you go as far as you could possibly go before you picked up your sword?’

The answer, of course, will have to be no.  You can never go far enough.

God will continue: ‘So you had the effrontery to kill people who I created, who I made myself, because you found it too taxing to win them over with your goodness and reasonableness and creativity?’

The believers will be miffed.  ‘You said we could kill, Lord.’

‘I fixed an impossible precondition to your lust for violence.’

‘How were we to know?’

‘Didn't get the hint when I said that I am love?  When I said I am all-merciful?’

‘You tricked us, Lord.’

‘I tricked the evil in you to come out of hiding and show itself.’

That's the kind of conversation you'll hear on Judgement Day.

Is there a chance that you might be in need of mercy on that day?  If so, in the days leading up to that day, it's best to err on the side of mercy.  That's how you defang your religion.

Pablo Neruda Poetry~